Free Your Mind --ElizabethObviously

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? In my mind, I feel like I would be about 25 or so. Old enough to have a bit of life experience but not sure old. If I went based on my illnesses or health issues, I would say probably 50. I have health issues I shouldn't have at my age (34)
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying. If you fail at least you can look at things and figure out what went wrong.  If you never try, you never grow as a person. And either one of two things will happen. You will fail (and hopefully try again) or you will succeed. 
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because as humans we do not understand that we are mortal and that we have a limited amount of time. We think we have all the time in the world and we don't. We do things we dislike because some of the things are things we MUST do. Pay bills, taxes, the dishes. And we don't do things we would like to do because the things we dislike take up too much time. 
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Yes. I will have said more than I have done but I think that is normal really. I think a lot of people say things, make plans and never get around to them. 
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I would change the fact that so many people are close minded or have no empathy. I don't understand how people can spread so much hate and fear and not understand what the other person or people are feeling. 
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Reading! Or having sex! Or writing, like pen palling. Or going geocaching. A lot of little things make me happy really. 
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? If I was doing what I believe in I would be a very mouthy person. I have so many thoughts that I just keep to myself most of the time because I hate conflict. So I guess I am settling. 
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? Probably about the same. Maybe have kids sooner. Have more kids sooner. Love people more loud. Like show them my love and appreciation more. 
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Complete control. I own my actions and suffer the consequences. I understand completely that the things I did years ago have effected me today. So I am taking action today so years from now, things will be different. 
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I am worried about both really. I am a Virgo and perfectionism runs deep in my veins. I know I am basically doing the morally right things. I don't steal or cheat or kill people. But I hate criticism  and people critiquing me. It makes me fall apart really. 
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? Not reply and not hang out with those people anymore. No I take back the not reply part. I would ask WHY they think that of the person? I would defend my friend and then not hang out with the three people anymore. I would have have one good friend than three friends who talk shit behind your back. 
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Don't take things so serious. I did this. I watched my grades so close and pushed myself so hard that I stressed myself out when it was not really necessary. 
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? It depends on HOW I would be breaking the law. Rob a bank for bail money? No. But if it were having to kill someone or assault someone to get my child away from a bad person, yeah. 
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? I think the perfect example would be Jackson Pollock. That is what I think of when I hear creative insanity. His paintings to me look like just paint splattered everywhere. I honestly do not understand how or why they are so expensive. I suppose it is the placement of colors? Or the choice of colors? 
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? How I spend my day I suppose. Most people probably work or something. I am more laid back. I don't feel like I have much of a routine or schedule. And how I make money. I do online surveys for money. I have made over $100 so far just this year. Last year I used mainly survey money to buy Christmas gifts. 
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because everyone is different. Because everyone has experienced life in a different way, knows different things and in turn appreciates different things in life. I would not enjoy being a video gamer but my brother does because he has specific memories tied to video gaming. I would not enjoy going out to bars but my sister would. And they would not enjoy pen palling like I do. 
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Having another child. My daughter will be 13 in May. I have not had another child because I have health issues that make having a child pretty dangerous. But honestly it breaks my heart to imagine my child as an only child. I grew up with 3 siblings so I know it is very important. 
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Probably grudges against people. I tend to hold on to feelings for a very long time. It makes me become guarded and not fully trust a person. 
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I live in the USA, in Illinois which is right in the middle of the country. If I were to stay in the USA, maybe I would move somewhere on the east coast, for the history. My husband and I would love the old cemeteries. If I were to leave the USA, I would love to live in Ireland. I have never been there but I miss it. There is a magic that has pulled at my heart since I was a child. 
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Nope I am a one push pusher. I know it does not go any faster with multiple pushes. I push and then listen and make mental bets on which set of doors will open. 
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? I am already a worried genius (well not genius but pretty smart) and it is not that great. My husband is a joyful simpleton (not really simpleton but ...yeah) and he doesn't fear anything. He doesn't get stressed like I do. He just looks forward to the future and enjoying what life hands him. I wish I could be like that. 
22. Why are you, you? Because of how I was raised and the things I experienced in my life. Because of who I hung around with and the things I did. I am a puzzle that started with 2 pieces ( my mom and dad) and each experience and each person I met are added puzzle pieces. 
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? I would like to think so. I am a good listener and I am very giving and thoughtful. 
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing tough with a good friend who is still close. You would see them at the store and know their secrets and personality but not really know them anymore. I have friends like this, people I was close to in high school and I see them now and it is awkward. Like oh hey remember when you had that crush on so and so...
25. What are you most grateful for? My husband and daughter. My husband because he loves me so much. It is palpable. We have such a mental connection it is unreal. He will go to the store and I think Oh I wish I had told him to pick up....bananas or strawberry jelly or milk. And without me texting (we don't have phones) he will pick up what I thought about. It is amazing. And my daughter. I am grateful for her because she is a piece of me. She is a piece of me but she is her own person. 
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Never make new ones. At least I would have the old ones to hold on to and think back on. And eventually the new ones would become old ones right? 
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? I think you need to challenge everything. That is the way to see how strong it is. If you believe in something, research it, question its authenticity, ask questions. Do not blindly just accept something. That makes a person blind and gullible.  
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? No but I am sure one day it will unless I die first. My biggest fear is my husband or daughter dying. 
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Of course not. Unless I mention it on Timehop! It does not matter now because things in the moment matter. And as time passes, details get fuzzy and may change and the feelings from it disappear. 
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? There is a video of it. It is Christmas morning when I was 8 years old. Both sets of my grandparents were there so we have them on video! They have all passed away since then.  My parents are both there (my dad passed in 2013) My siblings are all little and we have no problems and no worries. My parents are so young. They are actually younger than I am now. To see them so young and so alive and so happy. To know they raised us kids and we looked up to them with so much love. I know that is how my daughter must see me. 
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Simple things make me feel alive. Sometimes when we are out geocaching or driving on country roads and the weather is beautiful and I feel safe and I feel like my life is perfect despite it not being perfect. When I am not stressed or not hurting. It is just perfect. 
32. If not now, then when? When I am healthier. I would rather my family have me around than another child. 
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? A lot of weight? I feel like that will help so many things in my life. I lose weight and hopefully will get rid of health problems. I won't stress as much. I can have another child, get a job. 
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? When I first saw my husband...well officially saw him because I had seen him before...but when it was just us...we were both walking into a restaurant. I was walking in for a job interview and he was walking in to clock in. The world sped up around us and we moved in slow motion. It was surreal and perfect and I knew...I just KNEW...I would end up with him. 
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because those religions tend to also support money. Or the love of money. The people in charge love the money and the life style more than they love their religion. And they use that religion to gain more money. 
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. Because evil can disguise itself very well as something good. Evil knows how to look nice. Serial killers know how to blend in very well with normal people. Pedophiles know how to look like a loving father or a caring coach. Evil KNOWS it is evil and evil knows it has to appear good to pass in normal society. 
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? My job is a SAHM. I can not ever quit. Plus a million is not that much now. I would gut my house, add a room or two. Maybe buy a new vehicle for my husband and I put that is about all. And I know my husband would not quit his job. No one would even know we had money. 
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work that I enjoy. If you enjoy it, it is not work. If you enjoy it and it keeps you busy, it works out great. If you have less work, you would have more time but then you might not know what to do and you would end up wasting time doing nothing. 
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yes. This usually happens when I go outside and notice the trees across the street having changed for the seasons. It seems like they change faster and faster as I get older. 
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? When my husband stood outside my car as a guy I had a crush on, before he was my husband. It was late October and the rain was lightly falling. I sat in my car, talking to him. And he stood there in the rain. I am pretty sure he would have stood there until he got sick talking to me if I had not told him to just get in my car. And that was when I knew, he cared more about me, without hardly knowing me yet, than he cared for himself. 
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? My husband, my daughter, my family. Even the ones I don't really get along with much. I would also assume since I know myself, I too would be dying. 
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No fame and attractiveness are probably very over rated. I would rather be myself and have that 10 years to enjoy as a regular normal person. What about 1 year for some weight loss? Can we do that? 
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is doing the same routine things every day and not enjoying them. Truly living is seeing the things that are intricate and make each day better. The things that make each day unique and sparkle. 
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? I guess when time starts getting tight, is when people start doing things instead of thinking about them.  
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because no one likes to mess up. No one likes to think back and replay the situation which we all do. No one likes playing the shoulda woulda coulda cards. 
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Do a boudoir shoot. I have done one but I would love to do more. Show more. Buy a cute lacy outfit and flaunt it for the pictures. 
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? My daughter pulls this on me all the time.  She will run up to me and say You are aware of your own breathing. And then I forget how to breathe for a second...and forget the mechanics of breathing. And it is just weird. 
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love when my husband connects with me psychically. He knows me so well that I can just think about wanting something and he gets it. The fact that he knows me so well shows me he loves me. 
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? I can't even remember today what I did yesterday honestly. I know certain dates will stick with me, like when I hit 100 pounds lost. Or my daughter's birthday. Or the day my husband and I started dating. Though not our wedding day. We count our dating day as our anniversary. Our wedding was just a courthouse thing. 
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? I make them for myself. I am responsible for me and my actions. I do feel like I need to make more decisions though.